“Holidays Can Be Hard”

This edition of the Times will come out on turkey day, i.e. Thanksgiving Day. That also means that Christmas is not too far away either. So like most families, our family will be gathering to celebrate the holidays.

This past Sunday night our pastor shared with us that one of our members had asked him to keep her in his prayers during the holidays. You see this Thanksgiving would be her first without her husband who has past away. Our pastor encourgaged us to do two things. One, keep folks like this lady, and many others that have lost loved ones, in our prayers.

So often folks get so busy with the holidays, with all the cooking and running around, that it is easy to forget that there are many around us that are hurting during these times. When you turn on the TV, pick up the newspaper or turn on the radio you are bombarded with images, sounds and stories of folks gathering around their families, eating, laughing and having a good time.

But those of us that have lost close loved ones know that after that loss the holidays are never quite the same. The first holiday season after we’ve lost that loved one is downright dreadful. It brings back to the surface all the grief that we have tried to move past. After that first holiday season the next few are only a little better. The emotions are still pretty close to the surface. Hopefully as times goes by you no longer dread the holidays but can actually enjoy them with your remaining loved ones. But again, the holiday season will never quite be the same for you.

The second thing our pastor encouraged us to do during the holidays was make sure that we tell those folks about our loved one that is not with us anymore. In doing so, we can keep their memory alive and ease the pain just a little bit.

This will be the 28th holiday season without my father being present. It will be the 23rd holiday season without my brother in-law. Our families are well past the grieving phase so it’s not so much that it is painful or dreadful anymore. We can and do enjoy the holiday season. It’s just that each time we gather there remains a void that can never be filled.

Over the years, especially during the holidays, I have tried diligently to tell my kids about their grandfather and uncle, both of which they never knew. So I encourage everyone to follow our pastor’s advice for this holiday season. Simply Put, keep those folks that are hurting in your prayers and tell someone about your loved one (s) that have passed away.



From the front porch: Coach said change is difficult but often essential to survival.