“Debunking Global Warming”

You need not go any further in looking for scientific proof that global warming is a farce. I have absolute scientific proof that there is no truth what so ever in this hypothesis. I know that Al Gore and his gang have been flying all around the world with their power point presentations demonstrating that global warming is for real. And yes I know that some folks have ditched the global warming title and come up with “climate change.” Whatever.

Without any further ado, I’ll tell you how I have concluded global warming is a hoax. With the conclusion of basketball season I have now been attending area high school baseball and softball games. If anybody believes in global warming, they sure haven’t been to any ball games lately. I haven’t seen any evidence of global warming at the games I’ve been attending. All I’ve seen are folks wrapped up in warm coats and blankets.

Apparently when all the high school administrators and coaches got together many years ago to decide where the best place to put their baseball and softball fields, they all decided to put them in the coldest places in Jackson County. Half of the fields are in some type of depression or sunken area. This ensures that the temperature is a good five degrees colder than the surrounding area and that the cold air will hover like a space craft over the field. The other half are out in wide open spaces where a good 40 mile an hour breeze always reminds me that I should have left the windbreaker at home and brought the heavy parka.

Something has happened in my lifetime that I can’t figure out. When we used to play baseball it was always hot. I must confess I didn’t play baseball in high school, but I used to go to their games and I don’t remember it being cold. Regardless, I am thoroughly convinced that when Alexander Cartwright invented the game of baseball back in 1845, he meant for it to be played in warm weather.

When me and my good buddy Russell Register decided to try broadcasting Marianna baseball back in the early 90’s we envisioned sitting outdoors with our short britches and flip flops calling a game. That’s how we recalled listening to Skip Carey and the gang call the Atlanta Braves games back in the 80’s. We’d sit out by my trailer in our summer attire, fire up the grill and listen to the Braves on the radio.

We could not have been anymore wrong. There were no short britches and flip flops for Bulldog baseball. We ended up in the shivering in the back of my pick up truck, wrapped up in blankets as we announced the games.

But alas, they say spring time is coming. Simply Put, it can’t get here to soon for me. I’m ready for some warm weather baseball.



From the Front Porch: Coach said time is the one thing you can never get back.